He always wins in the end

If I feel drawn to something, it’s because it is best for ME. I’m kind of selfish like that. I want to move out of my mom’s house, because it’s best for ME. I need to get a degree, because it’s best for ME. I want to get good grades, because it’s best for ME.

I feel drawn to help the homeless. I don’t want to, because it exposes me to a harsh reality, can be  dangerous, won’t help me pay rent or get a good job, makes me upset and cry and be exhausted all the time. It isn’t really what I would think of when I think of what’s best for ME.

Yet, here I am.

God is purposefully building me up for something. Something that has very little, if anything to do with ME. Every move I’ve made in the last six months have been deliberate, even if I didn’t recognize it.

Why would I care about some strangers at an @OutlawPreachers Reunion thing? I had my John (@tragic_pizza), and could care less about everyone else. Except one of the girls (@arkychicky) led me to the church I now attend (@eikonchurch) that focuses a great deal of time and energy into fighting homelessness.

Why would I friend some random do-gooder (and kinda jerk-ish) guy on Twitter and then Facebook? (@HomelessHeretic) He calls people douchebags and drops F-bombs. He also helps run a homeless shelter for veterans and hired me as his Saturday help. He’s also a saint in my book. He knows why.

Angie Harris (@ang0823) started following me on Twitter and we started talking, becoming super close friends. Only after we spent weeks building this friendship, did I figure out that the church she belongs to (@canvaslr) was responsible for the warming center last week that helped changed my life.

Why would I want to be friends and make into a mentor a 44-year-old photography instructor (@mikekempf5)? Just because he listens to good music? Puh-lease. Yet, I find out his wife (@KempCrystal) has an almost matching heart to mine, and within ten minutes of meeting her, she catapulted to BFF status. Her heart breaks just like mine does. She’s as broken as I am. She sees God like I do.

I don’t trust people easily, and yet, in the last few months, I’ve allowed people to enter my life that never would have before. Instructors (@jenniferboyett). Overnight best friends. People I’ve never met in person (@cottonr). People straight off the street. Again, God is building something. It isn’t about me, but I’m so glad He’s letting me put my hands in it.

God directs every action, every person, every story, for His purpose. I can fight it all day, but He always wins in the end.

I’m sorry this was long and I’m sorry for not being very deliberate in blogging. Sometimes I blog weekly, other times I go months with nothing. This last week, I posted three blogs, then this one.

Next week, there will be one every day, giving you a glimpse into the world I’ve seen. Each story has differing lessons or unanswered questions, and introduces you to a few of my new friends.

If they are successful, I’ll continue with the stories. If not, well hell, I’ll probably continue with them anyway. 🙂

Advertisements