The PARG- Puppies and Rainbows Gene

Why do men (and some women) just assume that since I am a woman, I wear makeup and sometimes I’ll let you catch me in a dress or cry in a movie, that I automatically have what I refer to as “PARG” (Puppies and Rainbows Gene)? You know who I’m talking about- Those girls who automatically see their life as a chick flick. They fall for guys that don’t even notice them, have a need to talk incessantly about *fill in ridiculous subject here* and constantly fill their lives with the emotional and mental equivalent of…well… puppies and rainbows! They have dreams of puppies, babies, big houses and white picket fences. They go from boyfriend to boyfriend to boyfriend to fiancée to husband. They can’t seem to wait one more day for their white knight to come riding in and whisk them off in to the sunset. Yeah, I’m not that girl.

First of all, let me just say, outside of a ridiculously short list of movies, the only ones that really tear me up usually involve the death of animals, because I’m pretty ambivalent toward people. I get offended when I tell someone that and he/she tries to ‘prove me wrong’. I think I know me better than you do.

I just think it’s fairly misogynistic to think that just because I pee sitting down, I inherently wait around all day for my future husband to show his face. Just because that Y chromosome didn’t want to come out and play when I was conceived, I am supposed to be trapped in a never-ending spiral of thinking about when I’m going to get married and how many children I want and where I want to raise them. I’m sorry, but I’m just not that girl.

I don’t have some deep-seated fear of men or commitment. I never had a weird uncle touch me in my *special* place that screwed me up regarding relationships later on in life. I had a wonderful female role model, and if anything, TOO MANY wonderful male role models. I tried when I was younger to blame my lack of interest in ‘matters of the heart’ on my parents’ divorce, but the truth is, because of their divorce, I had a BETTER view of men. If they had stayed together, I would have been REALLY screwed up!! The only conclusion I’ve come up with is that the PARG skipped me. I’m just not interested. That isn’t to say I won’t settle down one day, but I don’t have some inner ‘need’ to be with one person for the rest of my life. I don’t have some inner ‘need’ to make ten babies (or even one). I don’t have this unexplainable ‘passion’ toward any one person in particular and I don’t sugar coat my words to feed others’ egos. I’m brutally honest and sometimes that means calling the baby ugly.

I’m not hiding an ‘inner girly girl’ deep within my walls. This is just me. I feel like sometimes people like to pretend they know me. They spout out all these things about relationships and being hurt in the past and reaching deep down and seeing the ‘real’ me. I try insanely hard to not be offended by these words and ones like them. This is the ‘real’ me. If you are waiting for the Cinderella version of me that resembles a maiden in distress, you might want to move on to a woman that the PARG didn’t skip.

I’m not sitting around waiting for someone to ‘save me from myself’ because I, honestly, don’t think I need that kind of saving.


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2 thoughts on “The PARG- Puppies and Rainbows Gene

  1. Not disagreeing with your opinion, just thought I would say this…

    Passionate love takes more courage than passionate ambivalence. Not insulting you, just saying that to love is to risk and to risk is to take a leap of faith. I think you are saying PARG people are shallow, not insulting what they think they stand for. Maybe I’m wrong?

  2. Lisa says:

    I think it would be nice to love and be loved w/o being put in a box of preconceived ideas. Objectification is something we all have to face in one way or another. Those of us girls who feel more like you do (and it seems we are few and far between..or at least that’s what the majority would have us believe) get a lot of flack, questions, attitudes, assumptions, etc. about ourselves, with many kindly trying to ‘help’ us or let us know what we are really like on the inside. Ha.
    In the end though, we all, as human beings, have the need to love and be loved. Most of that, at least as I see it, is manifested in plain acceptance. Why some people (and I apologize, Tim, if I misunderstood your comment) assume that a girl who is not pining for her “man, house w/ picket fence, 2.2 children, and family pet” scenario is not willing to risk loving and being loved, I don’t know. Personally, I don’t see an immediate relation between the two. One could in fact argue that a “PARG” is in fact seeking to nullify the risk factor w/ the security of having those airy-fairy happy ending scenarios. That being said, perhaps those who live that way love being that way, and that is who they truly are. Cheers to those girls who follow their hearts.
    But that’s just it, isn’t it? Only you can read your own heart (and sometimes hardly that..ha!) and choose to follow it. Though love allows you sometimes to glimpse the hearts of others, one can never judge because you never really see the whole picture of another person. You can only accept the parts you see, and choose to love them, knowing you’ll never see the whole and being ok with that.

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