It’s springtime. The air is clean. The sun is out. It’s 80 degrees outside. Today is perfect. I know many of you might have New Year’s Resolutions you’ve already broken, or maybe you haven’t, in which case, good on you, but just so you know: you are a minority. 😉
It’s also Lent. I’ve asked a few different people their views on Lent. To me, it’s a time of cleansing. A time to rid ourselves of the negative things that keep us away from God and pull in those positive things that keep us close to God. I had grand plans for Lent. I was going to keep out some unhealthy people and habits and pull in healthy people and habits.
It turns out, God had different plans.
God doesn’t have us push out unhealthy things. He has us push through them. This Spring Cleaning is a time to recognize that the only person responsible for making me happy, is me. I’ve been putting a lot of responsibility on others: my mom, my friends, etc. to make me happy. If their opinions of me dropped, so did mine of myself.
I have done some soul-searching and realize in many ways, I’ve spent a good part of my life setting myself up for failure, then falling apart when it failed. I’m cleaning that crap up, too.
I have become addicted to reassurance from others. Not to say people don’t need a support system and friends and family to believe in them, but it’s just as important to believe in yourself. I haven’t been.
I learned earlier this year putting all your stock in others means falling apart when those ‘others’ disappear. It was like I built my house on sand. When they stopped believing in me, loving me and being present in my life, my world crumbled. I hadn’t built a good foundation to begin with. I tried blaming them, but the blame falls squarely on my own shoulders.
I can no longer allow people in my life that need: to be my foundation, me to be their foundation, me to make them feel better about them, their life, family, self-esteem, etc.
If you want to be in my life, you are going to have to grab some cement and start mixing, helping me build my house on something solid: me. And Jesus. 😉